RAWsome Mind: If Only She Knew
If only she knew. If only she knew how beautiful she was. That she didn't need to cut her hair to discover it, or care what others thought. If only she knew how deep her strength went. That she had conquered more than most and would continue to rise to great heights. If only she knew that she didn't need to work so hard at being hard working. If only she knew that her feelings of being overwhelmed and afraid could be extinguished by listening to her desires instead of those of others. If only she knew she didn't need a higher job title or to make more money... that she would be loved for the simplicity that she chose. If only I knew.
If only I could go back and give her a great big hug so that she would never need to isolate herself again. If I could go back and whisper in her ear: trust yourself. If only i understood that being happy goes beyond seeing success in a bank account. Maybe It wouldn't have taken me this long to arrive at the place I wanted to be. To feel confidence in my decisions, to hear my voice more clearly than ever before. Maybe .... if only I knew.
But as I do not have a time travel machine I Instead sit here with a sleeping child on my lap. Fresh to the world, taking all the new-ness of life in. I look at her sweet face and know that she too will need these words and understandings of life.
So I bring her closer and say "dear child you are loved exactly as you are. You are beautiful, strong, smart, and funny. Your desires matter. Listen to your inner voice and let it guide you on this path to unimaginable and radiant places. Write your story with a steady grip and never forget: if you don't like where the story is going only YOU can change the tale. Dear girl be brave. Be bold. And dare to dream! Travel far and wide, taste the spices of life, and breathe in the landscapes of this world. Enjoy the simple sweetness nature provides and always find your way back to the water. Be barefoot as much as possible and let yourself enjoy the process of getting dirty. Work hard and restore yourself even harder. Remember that having fewer true friends is more valuable than 10,000 strangers "like" you. Be kind and be patient.
Be generous but never forget to protect yourself from those who would take advantage. Feel all of your feelings. Never cower away from shedding a tear or enjoying a belly laugh. (Even if you are the only one laughing). Create art, pick up trash, and do your best to leave this planet better than you found it. And above all... love yourself. Love yourself so fiercely that you couldn't imaging losing Yourself to anyone for anything." If I cannot go back and tell my younger self these things, I will put this message in place for River so that she won't sit one day and say "if only I knew".